But my point is, they are at it again and they are using my sister to deliver the message to my door. She either knows it and is good with it (which scares me), or she is being duped. And when I try to frame the info in some historical facts, she thinks I am crazy. I mean I am willing to concede to short comings of our current President, but I do like to point out to her that she was the one that sent me the email of Obama on a tarmac carrying a book about the Muslim culture and that soon this would mean that he would suddenly force us into their side. Soon we would all be wearing Berkas in America! I mean when this the lynch pin to your argument, you got nothing. And it disturbs me that perfectly educated, logical people are spouting this junk. It really questions their intelligence in my eyes. Even my wacko friends on the other side don’t espouse such baseless dribble, usually. They seem more extreme in what they want to save and help– like Whale Wars.

Have people forgotten to watch several sources of media for their info and to draw their own conclusions? I’d like to say stop sending me this but it is my only insight into the exposure people I know are having. I had to laugh because at the end of the email someone made a comment that this was such a professional video that an ad agency must have produced it. My young son and I could have made the same video for nothing sitting around our house on our Apple computer, but with that comment we understand the level of sophistication we are dealing with here. And a big thanks to my college professor who was a retired Naval Academy Professor. I took his class on International History and Diplomacy and he gave such a thorough historic framework from which I draw from and it seems other students never got. Between that and my time in the media, I am lucky to find my way through these complex manipulations.

And one more thing, no more equating anyone in our government with Nazi’s or Hitler. Keep a little historic perspective. The Nazi results were pretty severe and cruel, save your comparisons for something a lot more severe or use it humorously like Seinfeld, but only when it’s smart and funny. Smart and funny that will be your next challenge. You just sound dumb otherwise. And even now, while I am writing this, some 18 year old just got back from their Bible thumping meeting and is working in Powerpoint on their next You Tube Epic–”Fact checking? Nah, we don’t need it, our audience will never challenge the references.” Okay, let’s check that issue off my list at this life meeting. Oh and if you have a good example of what I am blogging about, please share the link to it. Meantime, here is a link to the one she sent me:

http://www.powerlineblog.com/archives/2010/01/025329.php

When I first used the Internet, I did not think that some day some dweeby, data mining people would track me like a dog online. They would create a dossier of every morsel of information they could find, which would eventually pigeon hole me in some neat simple statistic which (after being massaged into a virtual unbearable marketing strategy) is how to either reach me, sell to me or seal my online reputation.

We are way past Big Brother here. Have you Googled yourself lately? I found my entire Amazon wish list, online, for all to see recently. Thank goodness there was nothing salacious, or maybe that would have been more interesting? I’d like to believe that no strangers are clamoring to buy me my favorite CD, but it’s just creepy insight into again, my online reputation. And truly, I doubt any of you care enough to look at my life in this microscopic way, but it does come up. It comes up in job hunting and parents searching you before a play date, new potential clients or whatever you can imagine in the future.

So, I have created a counter plan to all this weighing and measuring of me. I have a made up persona. I don’t mean to leave out my real information, but I have to. I am amazed at how many people have told me they do the same thing too. It seems that this information tells you all about me and how to even show up at my door and well, stalk the day lights out of me. I bring up this since I have been stalked a few times. Mostly it’s guys who wanted to date me by asking co-workers for my phone number or address or once a guy who followed me from my college classes back to my real high school schedule—YIKES! Once this happens to you, (and luckily it was harmless in the end) you never really lose sight of how much of YOU is public information. And with this, your family is also in the spotlight merely because you have the same name! Is there nothing left out?

Having worked in the marketing field, I know that this information is what drives the media. It seems the more they quantify, the more their clients feel the information has value. I am a big fan of finding the niche you are looking for, but only to a degree.

I mean the future is here. Anonymity is gone. I heard a speaker on NPR say that it is only a few years until you will walk into a store with a security camera and they will immediately cross reference your image to online data banks to label that it’s you, your image and your information while in their store. I suppose it’s great if someone goes missing, but for me, it just makes me feel like they are tracking my life like a dog.

So maybe I use some other name when I sign up for things and perhaps I don’t give my real exact birth date—if you are really my friend, you will know. For the rest of you, good luck piecing me together. I’m a complex woman; many have failed! And I suggest you all do the same, think twice when filling out those forms online or anywhere else.

Now I’ve got to get back to my Tivo show, where they are tracking every time I stop and look at an ad. Great. Super.

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You know, I imagine any powerful entity that has come into
power did so in small, incremental ways. I mean Napoleon had to get through
each country to build his empire, right? What seems to be important are the
gatekeepers (or just paranoid individuals like myself) that point out to others
some empire immerging on the horizon.

Which leads to my topic: I think Google may be planning a
take over of the world. (Mental thought to self: will they even post this on
their search engine?) They won’t have troops like a Risk game standing on our
borders, well mostly because they are already inside our borders. It seems
China may be the only entity willing to make a swipe at them, which made Google
very, very angry. Don’t anger Google, they will Googlitize you or worse, they
will cut your Google off, which I hear can be quite painful and hard to
reattach.

And I have to say I am a devotee of their products: use the
email, love the maps, peruse the search engine, anxious to try out their phone
service offering, etc. But I can’t help but take note that they seem to be
seeping into all areas of our electronic lives. I think the first red flag went
up when I heard of their movement to get all books online. Now that in and of
itself seems like a good idea, until you swim under the surface of the “big
plan”. Essentially there are court cases afoot that could have Google
controlling the content of all out of date publications. I think the vastness
is what caught my attention. Read up on it; just don’t search through Google
for it. J

Let that sink in for a minute.

I am a flag-waving proponent of the need for multi sources
of information. It keeps the world honest and it provides those checks and
balances, which level the playing field. I guess the next place my mind wanders
is will there be a fee for viewing all said books, down the road? No one is
doing this out of the goodness of his or her heart. I can assure you of that.
And I admire the under taking, it’s quite a challenge. I just think that our
government tends to sell the farm to any corporate entity with a fierce tax
base or just incredible lobbyists! And isn’t this an undertaking best done by
our, LIBRARIES??

And I wouldn’t mind entering into this kind of agreement
when I sign in with agreeing to some simple list of rules or a section marked:
what we get to do when you sign up for this”. That way I sign my own death
warrant, willing. Not agree and get surprised when they show up at my door
asking for my first born, as I agreed to it in that online form. Whenever that
happens I always have to slam the door and remember to ask who is there before
opening it. I hate that.

I just want everyone to know that after reading this,
consider yourselves warned. Pay attention. Encourage legislation to keep up
with our tech world offerings or blunders. This is early in the game. NPR is
paying attention to this topic and so should we all. Keep track of the legal
filings about this one.

Final thought, I did see a FB link that cited it was through
Google Chrome. Oh, sounds so pretty, can I take two, please? My husband who
embraces “all that is tech” spins his head towards me and says, “Don’t use it.”
I thought, what is wrong it sounds cool and it does all these things I want,
hmm. Then he explained that the hook is Chrome is tracking you like a dog for
marketing purposes and infiltrates your computer. There is always a hook, just
be sure you see it before you bite on it. I’m just saying. Any thoughts or
information would be Googlicious.

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I can’t help but talk in metaphors that involve Star Wars. As a Mom of boys, this epic plays out in my house nearly daily. I have to say I was not a Star Wars fan initially. I am and will always be a Star Trek fan thanks to a die-hard older brother that nearly raised me on all those episodes. There is a whole lotta philosophy in both of these followings, don’t knock it till you tried it. And as a woman I know I am in the minority of this genre. It’s a guy’s world, I am just visiting. With that out of the way, here is what popped into my brain. Find your Yoda.

Yeah, it’s a simple idea, worthy of a t-shirt certainly. What the hell does that mean? As much as I would like to give my parents credit for my philosophical ideals, really they did not shape my Chi. And this goes out to all sorts of people who have bubbled up from the pool of insanity and dysfunction. Find your Yoda. I have had several friends and one particular boyfriend that fulfilled that need in me. They are always there at the right time with the wisdom of the ages. They are not Titans of industry or Genius’s at the Apple Store. They just drop a wisdomic pearl that stays with you for life. A motto or reason for a situation that just confounds you.

One friend said, “The opposite of love is not hate, it is apathy.” I passed this pearl onto some one just the other day and it made sense for both of us. Because if you are still so angry and engaged in that anger with a loved one with whom ties should have been broken and yet you are still seething in anger towards them, honey it ain’t over yet. Most likely you are the one dumped and your own feelings just don’t go away because the other person is on their way out. But rest assured, even if you gotta fake it until you make it, eventually you will reach that point where you are either able to laugh about it all or just feel plain old nothing. This comes with having moved on with your life and not getting trapped in that “you’ll be back or I’ll get you back syndrome.” I know love songs write of this concept often, but life just doesn’t ring that poetic. And let’s face it, if they made a statement that they don’t want you, do you really need them anyways?

And these Yodas are indeed flawed characters, like myself, that just had to learn about things the hard way. So perhaps it is just experience not wisdom. I don’t know but all I can say is I love those Yoda’s. Luckily they tend to speak with the proper sentence structure, unlike the real Yoda. You just have to be listening.

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You know it seems like a simple task to find a famous person’s Facebook page and just become a friend or fan or whatever. Unfortunately, there are all these bottom feeders that just post up a site that has virtually nothing to do with the famous person in question. You should see the scary Malcolm Gladwell look-a-likes on Facebook! And yet it always surprises me that even the most obscure famous person always has some wannabe silly person, with either a tattoo of them on their arm or a portrait of themselves, on a fake site of the famous person. The dead give away is when they have like 3 fans!

I’ve done searches for many people/companies/things before and this is a source of frustration for me. I just want the authentic connection to be out there in bold writing: The Official Site of WHOEVER? I feel like this is all over the Internet as well. The conundrum of searches leads you head first into search engine hell. This is where the mere mention of some topic can lead you down a dead end path or wasted time sifting out the real kernel of fact. I thought computers would save us time? Huh.

I mean right now I could mention Rocket Science and boom, I will be up on a search engine list as a notation mentioning this topic when my article has little to do with this topic. Well, later I will get into the fine components of a brain surgery, but not now. ☺

I am just saying that as this beast of an Internet explodes, in all our homes, we will need nerdy search police that regulate what is actual content and what is an anomaly. And even as I say it the tasks seems too vast for humans to actual capture, so perhaps we will need to retain the services of finely skilled monkeys or something.

Oh and the worst are those fake websites, you know the ones I mean. They have paid for good placement of search words and now you are caught in their fake website trying to get to the granular of info that was listed in their search listing that seemingly does not exist.

But if nothing else, my favorite chuckle, I always get, is when you look up say, “serial killers” and you get in the paid frame at Google: serial killers ON SALE AT TARGET! Really, time to bring in the monkeys, people. Feel free to vent your favorite search engine hell dead ends. ☺

The whole idea behind the technology brings up a slew of privacy issues and other ramifications. Would the police, for example, obtain a warrant for your memories? Could hackers get a wireless tap? Could you be spammed? Would reality tv shows go to a new level with willing contestants recording their bizarre experiences in order to win cash prizes?! Is the creation of our memories covered by the international laws of copyight? Can such a means of recording help Alzheimers’ patients?

Bell has said that by 2020, our entire individual history will be online and searchable.

Humanity once again enters brave new territories.

The world may seem upside down for some. For me, I wouldn’t have it any other way.

I recently came upon a news story that on its surface is shocking, but in its root: less than so because we are talking, after all, about Phoenix, the Valley of the Sun, that strange desert suburbia, and now the Capital of Human Smuggling. This news comes on the heal from last June when Phoenix become the kidnapping capital of the United States, according the Phoenix Law Enforcement Association. Last year, 368 abductions were reported, compared to 117 in 2000. Victims are targeted anywhere, at any time.

Now, a recent story on FOX News talks about the number of drop-houses that are in various neighbors around the Valley - upper class, middle class, working class - you name it: immigrants crammed inside drophouses, and it could be your neighborhood. However, local authorities have reported 144 drophouses to U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement officials, compared with the 186 discovered in fiscal 2008. That’s good, but not that good. Part of the reason, sadly, is a slight drop in illegal immigration due to the lack of jobs for them because of the drop in the economy. The fact of the matter is - drophouses with up to 50 or 60 illegal immigrants - beaten, scared, harbored like rats - are there.

So - why Phoenix? The old adage: location, location, location: 150 miles from the Mexico border - centrally placed for destinations to SoCal and the Rockies. The smugglers - known as coyotes - have to deal with ICE agents and rival gangs, one to free and convict and the other to steal. They are becoming - according to reports - more sophisticated, more ruthless, more cunning in protecting their human capital.

No place is safe in America, or for the world that matter. Yet - news like this - it’s always Phoenix. Some thing draws people of such extreme to the desert. It’s like Los Angeles - more than 50% of all known serial killers have lived in Los Angeles one time in their life. Why is that? Is it really too much sun pounding down that finally breaks a person. You don’t hear about this in New Mexico - they never have these honors of distinction in terms of crime. It’s not there’s no crime, it’s that with Phoenix: it’s always a crime of extremes.

I don’t know. The world may seem upside down for some. For me, I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Well. Some days.

I get this humor from my own family. We have had our share of tragedy, but we also pride ourselves on a slightly darker take on life. It’s the only way to rise above our dysfunction. I know my kids also crack jokes that would appall other parents, but they are raised around it, so they had to come out that way. My Grand Father was diagnosed decades ago with Alzheimer’s. Listen, this has to be one of the cruelest types of diseases, because it both leaves the person here and yet makes all their memories and brain functions fail. So, I always throw the joke that “there are only two good things about Alzheimer’s, you’re always making new friends and you can hide your own Easter Eggs!” At one point, we got a kick out of how Grand Pa thought that there was a guy trying to take his razor from him every morning. You gotta love that perspective.

Now the rules. Well any well placed dark joke about tragedy should be said in the right time, perhaps not immediately. This is a tough thing to feel out, but you have to. Right now, we are dealing with my Dad being told his Cancer (he fought for so long) is now back and terminal. I was visiting him at his house and I managed to make a joke about it. He was eating and he said that the new medicine was increasing his appetite so much that he was losing his girlish figure. This is a common thing my Dad has said for years. I just looked at him and in the most smart ass way said, “I don’t think gaining weight is a huge concern for you at this point.” And then I laughed. I caught myself only after I had said it, feeling horrified that I would hurt his feelings, but he just laughed and laughed. When you think about it, to laugh about it removes the OMG factor and the whispers that follow people who are in a bad way. I was told by a co-worker that had cancer that once she had it, it was all people would talk about or completely avoid. She appreciated that I treated her like a person and joked about it, because frankly, there is really nothing else you can do once you’ve done everything. I kinda feel that the way we deal with death is a little bit of childish avoidance or overly grownup seriousness that is kinda fake or expected by our culture. Humor is one of the few antidotes to this self limiting, politically correct stance. Oh and don’t forget we don’t make fun of others with our humor. The person in question has to be in on the joke. I am sure I am missing some other rules which are never really outlined, but always followed. My friends can fill in those blanks.

The bottom line is lighten up people. It’s just life. Horrible things happen to everyone and hopefully at some time you can look back and laugh at those things. I think the people who have passed on are chuckling a bit too. Oh so the joke on FB? Here it is: “When I die I want to go peacefully in my sleep, just like my grandfather, not screaming at the top of my lungs like everyone else in his car.” I don’t know where it came from, but it made me laugh even with my Dad facing Cancer. Thanks to whoever came up with this dark sense of humor, you are now in my circle of friends.

It’s weird how someone’s passing that you don’t even know can leave you thinking about that person for quite sometime, a real impact, if you will. This is how I felt hearing the news of John Hughes‘ sudden passing. I know he was not making movies now, but that does not take away the indelible mark he has left on my life. John Hughes wrote the manifesto for my generation and arguably many others.

We grew up on him. I was the perfect adolescent age to really take in his brand of cinema. And if you want to break it down, like a film student paper, he not only found some of this generations greatest actors, he created catch phrases by the dozens. He never forgot that his movies were an ideal vehicle to espouse some good old American values. The real ones, not the ones some political party creates for propaganda. My young kids even get his movies, proof that his writing and the movies themselves hold up over time as classics. Just today they asked to see Home Alone, really, before I even heard of what happened to John Hughes! Every time they laugh at Christmas Vacation, I have John Hughes to thank.

He got us, the middle class. He covered nearly every middle class issue with humor and heart. I know nothing really about the man and by all accounts online he led a quiet life after his phenomenal success. To me his passing is more profound than Michael Jackson for sure. His material had heart delivered in an intelligent, witty manner. He was one of the few grownups in Hollywood who knew how I felt as a teenager. Sure he had over the top stereotypes, but it was like a joke that you and he were in on. Sometimes I wondered if he was at one of my high school parties? Really, the jocks at the keg, the popular crowd, my friends, he had it all. In Sixteen Candles he made geeks cool, He let you believe that you could get that crazy crush you had (and I did) and, yes, John Hughes, not only did I wear the exact same Maid-of Honor wedding getup complete with the halo of fake flowers and long streaming ribbons, but I too had my 16th birthday forgotten by my parents. When I saw the movie not long after all of that (in fact a month after my sister’s wedding), needless to say, I thought he tore a page from my very own diary!

Which brings up an important point in that particular movie, he wrote young female lead roles. He let Molly Ringwald carry movies on her own and she delivered. All that and a feminist supporter too? We are all very lucky that John Hughes could be a voice of our times, he was the guy in Student Council that spoke for the whole school. I mean just listen to the final letter in the Breakfast Club? How could anyone address both how kids felt about the difficulties of being a teenager with parents trying to screw you up and remind all of us that even though we all had those labels put upon us, that didn’t mean that we didn’t have unity. Who does this anymore? Frankly, most movies belittle parents and kids alike with a lack of character development. Where is the middle class suburban voice in cinema these days? Oh yeah, there is no middle anymore.

On top of that, he wasn’t afraid to let his inner goofball shine through. My kids get the moronic comedy of the Vacation movies. And living in Arizona I feel the exact same way about lookng at the Grand Canyon, “Okay, kids, let’s get back in the car.”

All those stupid. silly lines of the screenplay are forever embedded in my brain. I had this great moment in Mexico in college down near Rocky Point. We were all at the beach and we decided to all go out in the water with the waves crashing over us. We eventually formed a circle of about 12 boys and girls and got to talking (while drinking Coronas) and somehow that led to famous movie quotes. It was like a who could do one better. It was full of laughs and full of John Hughes lines. If you can have a life that ripples out like a rock in a pond and it hits an entire generation and more to come, well then, we call that a great life.

Thanks for the memories John, thanks for the laughs, and all the memories and laughs that keep coming. You truly have achieved immortality. And now I say, it’s time for a John Hughes film viewing with friends in honor of his passing!

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For the past couple of months, club pro Brian Lautenschlager and Great Smoky Mountains Greenskeepers Inc. owner Mark English at Sherwood Forest Country Club have been training 11 llamas to caddy for golfers.

Sherwood Forest Country Club is - btw - one of two golf courses in North Carolina offer llamas as caddies.

What exactly is in the air or water in North Carolina you ask? The answer is: same as everywhere else - so, yes, you should be concerned at this point. But it’s not a dog’s life for the llamas.

Every Tuesday morning the llamas — which are kept on a seven-acre farm — are fed and saddled with specialized harnesses capable of holding two sets of clubs. Then they head to the greens two at a time with golfers and a trained supervisor (for the llamas, not the golfers) and act as a more traditional caddy. After nine holes, the animal is taken to a “llama litter box,” (and the golfers hold it in) where they use the restroom, and back out they go to finish the round.

How this idea originated is still a mystery. Obviously, there must be a shortage of caddies and/or the cost of hourly pay for caddies has terribly dented the golfers’ wallet. Obviously the llamas can graze on the course while a human caddy cannot; but a llama cannot yet choose the difference between a nine wood or four iron.

No one is certain if this idea will take off beyond the borders of North Carolina or if the USGA is willing to allow llamas on the courses during tournaments. Can you imagine Tiger Woods with a llama caddy? Of course you can. He’s Tiger Woods, after all. Or how llamas will be added to the Rules of Golf, such as player or caddie must not take any action to influence the position or the movement of a ball except in accordance with the Rules. And if you’re caddy is a llama and such movement occurs, it probably means it’s time for potty break in the sandtrap or something.

The world may seem upside down for some. For me, I wouldn’t have it any other way. I’m Baltimore Spencer.